FOUR!

It was Matt's birthday and so I took the boy out for some mini golf. He beat me by 1 stroke! Good thing it was his birthday...This is his celebration dance.

Lately I have been praying that God would capture me. I have found that 5% is partly in taking care of myself, but the majority of repair has taken place in believing who God is. Amazingly enough, I have had new ideas about how to love those that he has placed in my life, simply by asking him to supply me with love. It feels like, I am falling for the first time, falling into life and love. I love my Jesus and not even death can take that away, even my own death. For the first time in my walk with him, I finally understand that "take up your cross" is like "take up your electric chair." I am still searching for what exactly my "cross" is, what I am called to let go, but it's a process right?

Pray for Matt's mom Heidi, as she is having surgery to remove breast cancer on Monday. Pray for my room mate Angie as her world is crashing. Pray for the world, that God might change you to love it. I have to be careful because when I pray like that I'm never the same.

"It is one thing to go on the lonely way with dignified heroism, but quite another thing if the line mapped out for you by God means being a door-mat under other people's feet. Suppose God wants to teach you to say, "I know how to be abased" - are you ready to be offered up like that? Are you ready to be not so much as a drop in a bucket - to be so hopelessly insignificant that you are never thought of again in connection with the life you served? Are you willing to spend and be spent; not seeking to be ministered unto, but to minister? Some saints cannot do menial work and remain saints because it is beneath their dignity." Oswald Chambers