Savoring Grace

"Identification with the death of Jesus Christ means identification with Him to the death of everything that never was in Him."

The picture is of my family at Thanksgiving in Denver. My grandpa is currently fighting blood cancer and has lost 30lbs in the last 2 months. I love him so much and I cry just thinking about how much my dad loves his father and can't part with his dad because he doesn't know Jesus as Savior. I don't know if he identifies with Christ. So what am I up to?? Asking myself silly questions and fighting sin like:

When is dessert too much? 2, 3, 5 cookies?

There are points in my life when I continue to struggle with different issues to the point that I get lost in knowing right from wrong. Should I really be thinking right or wrong? Would it be more beneficial to look at something, identify it with Christ or apart from him, react based on this judgment and move on? I ask myself these questions tonight because there is no easy answer to categorize life because God has purposely left areas grey. Could it be so that we have to turn to Him, live in his presence and ask ourselves what do I really want (in whirling moment of thoughts)??? I love Christ, but somehow when I type it, there lacks sacrifice in certain areas in my life other than dessert. One day, when God asks me to give an account for my life as his bond servant, I pray that my life will reflect everything good, pure, and set apart, everything that Christ is. I am not there yet. Grace is something I struggle with. On one hand, it cost Christ so much and yet I abuse it. Part of me doesn't want because it cost so much from God. How many of us know this yet the weaknesses of our flesh are always ebbing at sin. AHH!!! Death was not just meant for our own flesh but for us to love and protect the widows, poor and those in need, aiding them in putting to death everything that wasn't in Jesus Christ. This quote by Oswald Chambers helped me create illumination to what Christ wants for us: everything that was in Him. This identification is a struggle, but who savors what they attain without effort?